The Infamous Head Injury Story

-Submitted, with Love, by Josh Shpayher

Once upon a time in a land far away (my old dorm room) Dave came a-knockin at around midnight. While I do not remember the reason for his visit, I do remember I was folding my laundry. If you have ever been to a Morg dorm room, you would know that the drawers are kind of pointy (to say the least). Well, I was folding socks and shooting them across the room into the middle drawer which I had left open.

That's when Dave walked in.

After talking to Benji Nadler and me for about 2 minutes, Dave realized his shoelace was untied. This is when I turned away. I looked at Benji to say something when I heard a distinct “THUNK”, the kind of the thunk you hear when someone “Gets Daved”. Benji and I spun around only to see Dave staggering about the room, with both hands over his left eye covering most of his face. I asked what happened, but he did not respond, I
only heard him moaning in complete agony. Benji and I still did not know what was going on.

Then I saw it: Blood.

Red drops were slowly trickling trough Dave’s fingers and down his face onto the floor. It was then I realized that Dave had bent over quickly to tie his shoelace, slammed his face into the open drawer hitting the sharp corner. Lucky for Dave he only hit his eyebrow and did not actually hit his eye. Dave did not know that. The pain was so intense, and the blood had temporarily blinded him so that he could not tell me whether or not he had been hit in the eye. All he knew was that it was painful and he was bleeding. He wouldn’t remove his hands from his face, so I ran to get two Haztolah members who lived on our floor. They took good care of him, and after 15 minutes, Dave was all smiles and gauze. Once Dave found out he hadn’t blinded himself, he was cracking jokes and we were taking pictures. He went to the hospital, got a few stitches and was good as new by morning

[Editors Note: For those of you who know a little bit more, please don’t comment or add details, I’d like to keep this story as clean as possible. Thanks.]