"You Got Daved" is Filmed in Front of a Live Studio Audience

Dave attends a class twice a week that is forging a new future into the high-tech arena, well, when it works that is probably a true statement. National Sovereignty and Human Rights takes place in Furst 201 and 245 Lexington (in a certain undisclosed room) simultaneously. One day a week the prof lectures from Midtown and one day from Uptown. All the while both men and women are on camera and multiple screens trying not to snicker, snooze or scratch too much. The average class has turned into a gameshow, each group trying to answer first, trying to impress the prof and seem the smarter sex. This author is quite sure that things will settle down with time, students, Beren and Wilf alike, will learn to listen to each other, will not giggle or make quite remarks unheard across town.

However "You Got Daved" is not a place for social commentary, well, perhaps it is, but the comic effort must come first. Aha! The story finally approaches:

Not two weeks ago the political science students sat quietly listening intently to the prof who was lecturing from Beren campus that day. The sitting was getting uncomfortable.

Allow this author a moment to explain the room. Perhaps half a million dollars had been invested in the technology to allow for this class to happen, but not a penny had been spent on the room's furnishings. Students sat in the same metal folding chairs that the Rav's students had sat in two scores previously (forty years).

Not unlike every other class we had sat through, people had begun to mill around outside the door looking in on this new classroom "ooohing" and "aaahing".

"Dave, can you please shut the door?" the prof asked.

Dave, or course, immediately got up, walked over to the door and closed it, turned around and walked back to his chair.

CRASH

Dave's chair broke into two distinct pieces as he sat down on it. Dave lay flat on his tush for almost a minute while the rest of the room erupted in the kind of laughter which always evokes tears. While Dave's tush hurt from impact, it was his side that was throbbing from the laughter that ensued. Class re-established order within a few minutes, but the chair was never the same again. Such a break has actually never happened before to Dave in college. Obviously, the time had to be right; in this situation Dave had been recorded in front of a live studio audience.

A week later, at a lecture in midtown for the class, the prof approached Dave and asked that Dave test the chair he was planning on sitting on for the night.

"This is a nice room and we have some very important people here tonight, please be careful not to break anything."

Numa Numa Update

It's hard not follow the craze that is Gary Brolsma. He has become an international superstar in a matter of weeks. This past Tuesday his amateur video hit one million hits. The next morning he was broadcast on MSNBC. Dave's prediction that his hits would double to 2 million by Friday was accurate at which point Gary announced that he regrets ever making the video. Garry was featured in a story on the front page of the New York Times on shabbos, which is truly an amazing feat. In the meantime, hundreds of copycats across the internet have created their own versions.

This news update keeps those who traverse You Got Daved spitting with laughter and constantly asking for more. We, here at the blog, like to oblige to this craziness...

Anime

Too Much Time on Their Hands

Ozone (Original Romanian Band) vs. Gary

Although we are amused by the Numa Numa phenomenon, we sincerely hope that this craze will end and our regularly scheduled news will reappear tomorrow morning.

Pre-Shabbos Vignette

Good afternoon or good morning for those lucky few!

Funny thing happened on the way to the coliseum (read: bank) this morning.
This author waited patiently in line at the ATM for over ten minutes to withdraw currency. All the while the ATM repairman was closing down the machines one by one from inside. At first, two machines were ample enough to distribute cash to those who stood before Dave. The man directly in front of Dave inserted his card into the ATM just as the second machine closed down after the previous customer withdrew. As luck would have it, as Dave took a step forward, the last machine closed down as well. Exasperated, Dave looked at the multitudes behind him and offered to get help from within the bank.

Dave entered the bank, asked the teller for help and turned around to point at the problem. In doing so, he noticed that another machine had opened in his absence; all who had been behind him were now in front.
Ten more minutes of waiting came to end with a successful withdrawal. The extra ten minutes cost Dave a few hours, he missed the Uptown shuttle, which is why he is able to type this blog now. Dave is sitting in the Stern Building trying to pass time.

Brrriinng...Brrriinngg!!! Ah, Dave finds a friend to go to lunch with.

Good Shabbos.

Have your "Getting Daved" memory posted

For those of you still wishing to have your very own "Getting Daved" story published as a post rather than a comment feel free to email Dave. All submissions will be thoroughly checked (read: lightly scanned) and posted quickly for all to enjoy.

yougotdaved@gmail.com

Dean Braun is a Great Cook

-Submitted, with Love, by Zechariah Mehler.

Early last year, Brad Karasic the Assistant Dean of Students invited Dave and I to his house for Shabbat. We went to Brad’s house, played with his kids and ran some pre-Shabbat errands and then went to our room to get ready. I had finished putting on my suit when I heard the following noise.

"Awwwwwwwwww, not again!"

I recognized this sound as the noise as the sound of part of Dave's spirit dying, which meant that he was getting Daved once more. I turned to find Dave sitting on his bed wearing his suit pants that had 6-inch hole starting at the bottom of the zipper and moving its way back. Since Shabbat was in 10 minutes there was nothing much Dave could do about it. Dave would just have to deal with a giant gaping hole in his suit.

Now I know this is already a pretty good "You Got Daved" story, but in the immortal words of Freddy Goldman, "It gets better".

When we got up stairs, Brad informed us that we would be eating lunch the next day at Zelda Braun’s home. Zelda, or as she is more commonly referred to as, Dean Braun, is the Stern College for Women Dean of Students. Those of you that know Dave are aware of how active he is at YU (which for pc sake, we are talking about both YC and Stern). He arranges concerts, trips, events of all kinds and here we were with the people he needs to work with all the time and Dave needs to keep his legs together and attract as little attention to himself for hours on end.

In the end it turned out ok as no one noticed the gaping hole (thank god). As a side note, it happened to have been a particularly cold weekend and I can't imagine that it was pleasant to walk to shul and around Kew Garden Hills with that giant air vent in his pants.

[Editor's Note: The title of this Blog, "Dean Braun is a Great Cook" is such because although our host for lunch might seem to play an insignificant role in this story, even to this day this author can remember the fantastic shabbos meal, great conversation, and general hospitableness that were felt at the Dean's home.]

Numa Numa.....Yay!

Last night this author was about to post this very post when he was sent a link from MSNBC. Apparently, yesterday morning, Matt Lauer reported on the "Numa Numa" song kid from New Jersey. Dave missed out on being the first to post this remarkable story by only hours. However, and luckily for you, my special readers, a round-the-web-history view of this video phenomenon shall join the ranks of "You Got Daved". Tomorrow, we will return to our regular scheduled Daving. Enjoy!

Original Numa Numa Song

Click on "Watch This Movie",
then after it loads, press "Play",
then choose "Play Without Subtitles".

Whole Class of Kids Numa Numa-ing

Numa Numa Gary on MSNBC

Original Music Video

Hebrew Version of the Real Song (27mb)

The Infamous Head Injury Story

-Submitted, with Love, by Josh Shpayher

Once upon a time in a land far away (my old dorm room) Dave came a-knockin at around midnight. While I do not remember the reason for his visit, I do remember I was folding my laundry. If you have ever been to a Morg dorm room, you would know that the drawers are kind of pointy (to say the least). Well, I was folding socks and shooting them across the room into the middle drawer which I had left open.

That's when Dave walked in.

After talking to Benji Nadler and me for about 2 minutes, Dave realized his shoelace was untied. This is when I turned away. I looked at Benji to say something when I heard a distinct “THUNK”, the kind of the thunk you hear when someone “Gets Daved”. Benji and I spun around only to see Dave staggering about the room, with both hands over his left eye covering most of his face. I asked what happened, but he did not respond, I
only heard him moaning in complete agony. Benji and I still did not know what was going on.

Then I saw it: Blood.

Red drops were slowly trickling trough Dave’s fingers and down his face onto the floor. It was then I realized that Dave had bent over quickly to tie his shoelace, slammed his face into the open drawer hitting the sharp corner. Lucky for Dave he only hit his eyebrow and did not actually hit his eye. Dave did not know that. The pain was so intense, and the blood had temporarily blinded him so that he could not tell me whether or not he had been hit in the eye. All he knew was that it was painful and he was bleeding. He wouldn’t remove his hands from his face, so I ran to get two Haztolah members who lived on our floor. They took good care of him, and after 15 minutes, Dave was all smiles and gauze. Once Dave found out he hadn’t blinded himself, he was cracking jokes and we were taking pictures. He went to the hospital, got a few stitches and was good as new by morning

[Editors Note: For those of you who know a little bit more, please don’t comment or add details, I’d like to keep this story as clean as possible. Thanks.]

The Sovereign State of Pants attacked by Rogue Nation of Orange Juice

-Submitted, with Love, By Simcha Feldman

I am so glad Dave has created a great forum in which this story can be told, since it happened so recently. It all began one morning at the annual Yeshiva University National Model United Nations conference (YUNMUN), which began on Super Bowl Sunday. As a result of the scheduling, the sessions ended early and we, the staff/college students, stayed up late doing what college students do best…procrastinate sleep for no good reason. The next morning, no one was in any mood or physical shape to act like professional, but act we had to. Our noble Dave walked into breakfast looking pooped and with his mind elsewhere.

I arrived into the Breakfast hall that fateful morning with my plate full of Danishes (mmmmmmmm…..Danish) and a cup of hot chocolate. As I sat down, I took my cell phone out of my pocket, since it was bothering me, and placed it on the table. I continued to enjoy my breakfast and talk with the guys around the table about the ridiculously long day ahead of us. Finally, when Dave strolled in to eat his breakfast, he sat down at the table right next to mine, carrying a muffin and a cup of orange juice. At this point, my table began to clear and I made my way over to keep Dave some company. In my right hand was my last remaining Danish and in my left was my hot chocolate.

As Dave continued on with his breakfast, he got thirsty and began to open his little sealed plastic cup of Orange Juice. As a note, the orange juice came in a little plastic container with a tightly sealed aluminum foil on top, much like the cups of water one gets with a kosher meal on an airplane. As he opened the orange juice, Dave was not really paying any attention and foil ripped quickly with his hand causing some of the orange juice to squirt out of its container and attack its attempted drinker. Dudie Silberman, who was also sitting at the table, and I began to laugh at this funny moment until Dave looked down and with a look of dismay, and groaned at the current situation. The orange juice had hit his tie, but that was only the beginning. Some of the orange juice had landed all over his pants while painfully embarrassing accuracy. Normally, this wouldn’t much matter, but Dave was wearing his lightly colored suit and this stain was both very incriminating and embarrassing for poor old Dave. As Dudie and I continued to laugh at now this very funny moment, we began to contemplate what we could do to try and allow Dave to save some face. Our best idea was to have Dave button his jacket and we would quickly walk him back to his room where he could put some water on his pants and then blow dry them and thus remove any evidence of this story.

We got up from our table and we were about to walk out when I realized my phone was not in my pocket. I looked down at the table and began to panic. I looked over at my original table and still no cell phone. I looked everywhere I could imagine it could have been in the dinning room and I couldn’t find it.

Later that day, the YUNMUN paper was passed around with a fond recap of that morning’s events, written by non other than Dave himself. Titled, “The Sovereign State of Pants attacked by Rogue Nation of Orange Juice” students were notified that at 7:45 a.m. in a violent and unprovoked incident, Orange Juice attacked Dave’s pants with “deadly” results.

My phone was never recovered, but I’m told that since Dave turned out OK, as the chaos theory might state, something bad had to happen to somebody at that table that morning, I’m just glad it was nothing worse.

Still Too Lazy...

While it might seem that Dave is slightly lazy, the hard cold truth is that Dave is extremely lazy, almost to the point of malfunction Thus the quest to find alternate writers for this blog is in full swing, with several more promising entries on their way. Stay tuned, keep checking in on a daily basis, and keep that smile on your face perpetually.

One funny link for the night is this of an Elephant who, clearly, has far more hand eye coordination than Dave.

Sporty Little Tusker

Randomness Can Be Very Soothing

The three hours it took Dave to get from Monsey to Manhattan tonight has left our fair author in a tired/lazy mood and therefore "You Got Daved" brings you a new segment which hopefully, if found to be immensely popular, will make a return engagement every so often:

"Random Stuff"

or

"Things Funny Enough to Make You Pee a Little"

1. Dave's Roomate found this incredible video online tonight. This guy got Daved, and bad.

Download "Scott Goes Skydiving"

2. COMPANY CREATES "EXTREME" JOBS

In a bid to boost employee morale and cultivate a hipper image, stodgy investment banking firm Hamilton Hardway last week added the word "extreme" to every job title. "I kind of like it," commented Extreme Vice President in Charge of Finance Jake Robertson. "It makes me feel cool." This sentiment was echoed by Extreme Portfolio Investment Counselor Angela Dupree. "I love it! I really identify with it. It really sums up what I do." Not everyone at the company was thrilled, however. Extreme Janitorial Emergencies Supervisor Raymond Blacklock commented, "In janitorial emergencies, extreme is never good."

Great Quote

I can't believe you started such a website, I was cracking up. It's like group therapy on a website.

-Aliza A.

Is it Getting Daved or Just Plain Funny?

When Dave was a young sophomore, he was the practically the image of an Athenian athlete, all rippled and burley and in shape 'n stuff. Well.....he must have been, right? Two straight months of tryouts, two nights a week, two hours a night, and hundreds of liters of water all built up to Dave making the cut for YU's most esteemed team: Volleyball. Running, jumping, diving, sliding, and complaining are all vital skills that need to be honed to make the YU volleyball team and Dave had become more than your average grasshopper in this respect.

With over $1.9 Billion in their endowment, Yeshiva University chose to outfit its Volleyball team with most highly technological clothing they could afford. Ah, perhaps you can’t imagine, allow for a second this image:

Ten college aged kids in blue short shorts and skin tight white soccer jerseys; at least they all had the infamous YU shield. Dave and his illustrious teammates were all informed that these fashionable were only meant for practice, and that each member would get his very own "Volleyball" jersey by game day.

The night before the big game finally arrived and this night was no different than any other. Practice. Just before we started dripping sweat all over the gym floor, Stan the Man (distributor of YU Athletics gear and Mussar Rebbe) brought out our PHAT gear. Dave tried on his new sweatshirt, sweatpants, played with his bag and tied up the laces on his hi-tops.

With only ten minutes left to practice a general scrimmage started, with Dave playing setter. One over, then back, then up for the block.....crash!!!

Dave went up for the block and down, hard, turning in his ankle just before his teammate landed on top of it.

SNAP

Dave never played one minute of NCAA Volleyball, but was on the roster for one season thus making him and NCAA Athlete! Dave got the free stuff, the one semester of credit, and plenty of rest. On the flip side, Dave was in bed for two straight weeks, on crutches with a cast for two months, and finally a cane for three months.

Dave still maintains that it will always be an honor that he was once an NCAA Athlete.

Submitted, with love, by Marc Lerman. );

I’d like to share my own experience of being around Dave for a good “Daving.” Is Daving a word? Well, it is now. Regardless, I must press on.

(Note – some details have been changed to protect Dave and b/c I don’t remember them all)

As we all know, Dave has a knack for not having much cash with him. It always happens that he can get by, but Dave is not one to go out to dinner just for the sake. Dave is careful with his money, and although his parents make it seem so, Dave is not an excessive spender. Occasionally, Dave goes to T-town for some family loving, as well as some money to help him get by.

After one return from T-town, Dave had with him several dollars, let’s say $200, which was to last him for a few months. To most of us, it doesn’t seem like much, but Dave doesn’t head home often, and as a Canadian living in a non-Canadian country, $200 is sufficient means to get by. Now, on the first day with his newfound wealth, Dave treks into Midtown Manhattan to wander about. While in Barnes and Noble, a well-dressed man approaches the young lad. This man is not dressed like a bum by any means, but nevertheless, once he spots Dave’s tsitzit hanging out, he approaches. This man proceeds to tell Dave he is trying to make a train to Cherry Hill, New Jersey, where he is housesitting for his brother. The man says he has lost his wallet in a cab and is unable to pay for the train, the cab ride to the train station, or anything else in between. The man goes on to tell Dave about how he is only in the East Coast for a few days from San Francisco. Dave is apprehensive about giving this man money. After all, would he ever see the money again? It’s all he has to last for some time, and this man could just be conning him. The man promises to send Dave the money just as soon as he gets home to San Francisco where he works for a major clothier, tossing in the words "Gap" and "Banana" for effect. After being convinced, that he would not be “Daved,” Dave hands over nearly half of his wealth to this man. Dave leaves his phone number, so this man could contact him for a way to send Dave his money. Dave then returns to YU, where he comes to the room of his friend Marc (me). Dave asks if I could find a picture of the head honchos of GAP, which I do, and none turn out to not be this man. Still hopefull, Dave awaits the call for weeks. Finally, after a few weeks, Dave doubles over in agony, as he realizes that he has just been Daved out of all the money that was to last him for several months.

FOLLOW UP – several years later, Dave is again walking the streets of Midtown Manhattan, when he spots someone familiar to him. To Dave’s shock and dismay, it is the same man who screwed him all that time before! Dave calls Marc and mentions this to him, where Marc advises that Dave should go up to this man and kick the living hell out of him. Dave does not. Dave is too nice. Poor Dave.

Send in the Clowns

For those of you wishing to have your very own "Getting Daved" story published as a post rather than a comment feel free to email Dave. All submissions will be thoroughly checked (read: lightly scanned) and posted quickly for all to enjoy.

yougotdaved@gmail.com

To Get Daved or Not To Get Daved?

What is it to "Get Daved"? How can we all be a part of this community of believers? How can I sleep with all this noise? Why am I still hungry? These are all important questions, but the only one which will be addresses (right now) on this blog is that of reference to the legitimacy of "Getting Daved".

Getting Daved is being in receivership of a special kind of irony. Whether you have had some "bad luck", been done over by a corporation, truly wadded in the red tape of bureaucracy, or just plain had a special kind of bad day, you could be in the "Got Daved" category.

The term "Getting Daved" refers, in general, to instances when the author has gotten into remarkable situations in which only he could have gotten into. It seems, as if by the sheer will of the creator, that an example should be set of this young, courageous lad in order to show G-d's providence on this great earth.

Welcome All Ye faithful

You Got Daved.

A comment bestowed upon the lucky few to be sure. Once you realize that you are in the hands of a master plan you can find the laughter or you can find the tears (insert alcohol here for effect). Out of many late nights and far too much discussion this diary of events has finally found a home. What was once just spots of luck has become an international phenomenon. People the world over are finding out what it means to "get daved".

These stories won’t necessarily be in chronological order, nor will they be posted as they happen. Old tales will be written as they are remembered, and new ones will appear as they will inevitable happen.

Others are greatly encouraged to post their favorite Davism. Whether or not the tale actually includes the infamous "Dave" is of but miniscule importance.

What should be stressed is humor, good taste, and above all the ability to rise above the bad taste and find the good in every corner.

Bad luck is only a state of mind.

- The Establishment


YouGotDaved@gmail.com