You Got Daved

TSheets.com

2008-04-24T09:45:00.002-04:00

I am trying Tsheets on recommendation from a friend. This Web 2.0 site tracks your time and employees time online so it can be accessed anywhere.
Try it out for free today or join for a few bucks.

I'm supposed to mention what I do the first 5 minutes of every working day....

I check my email and respond to LinkedIn invitations and then I see the activity going on at Jewneric.

Jewneric.com

2007-09-03T16:36:00.000-04:00

After six months of initial discussions, planning and talking to as many smart people as we could....Jewneric has finally launched.

What's Jewneric? Good question. We aim to be a place to find the Modern Jewish Voice. Our writers are passionate, smart and have great ideas. They will be writing about many topics including, politics, travel, technology, kosher restaurants, relationships, art, music and many more.

Although we are only in our 1.0 (Beta) phase right now we are really building our content. The site will undergo some cosmetic changes as time goes on, but you should always expect great things to read.

We are gathering together a group of writers who are passionate about their, writers who are experts in their fields and writers who are Jewish. Perhaps we are looking for you?

Nudge us anytime - nudge@jewneric.com. We have super easy requirements to write for us (you must have good ideas, try to post something...anything at least once a week and the theme must somehow be Jewish).

Come check us out - Jewneric.com

Thanks for reading!

Dave

Going to Phil-llaay1

2007-06-03T21:47:00.001-04:00

The Hulk goes Kosher

2007-01-22T08:29:00.000-05:00

I love this video. The Hulkmeister and his family are trying so hard to make their neighbors feel comfortable and be able to eat. Keeping kosher is tough, but it must seem like we are crazy to people. I'm quite happy with the way this all played out, both parties end up looking ok.

Update to "The Awakening"

2006-12-11T08:05:00.000-05:00

This Sunday's Washington Post, Sunday Source section, had a road trip idea that left my mouth gaping. It took readers around little know parts of Downtown DC, past the Big Chair and over to "The Awakening". I was astonished to see the exact same pictures and trip ideas that I found off of Roadside America and from the TravelZoo Unleashed DC video.

I found this all to be very amusing. The back page of the Sunday Source had pictures from every stop on the trip, but the article only lists a few, not including "The Awakening".

I'm a little annoyed at the post and wish they would have attributed this better. When I look at their "Travel Deals" each week, I've already seen at least half of them a few days earlier. The post needs to shape up and show something special. With all this massive media house has up its sleeve I am surprised at the lack of synergy.

None-the-less, the Washington Post is an excellent newspaper and I continue to be a subscriber.

Mr. Politico Officionado

2006-12-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

My friend "Josh" started blogging a little while ago about "Politics".

Josh's Political Musings

Find him at http://joshspolitics.blogspot.com/

We both worked for a Presidential Campaign in Iowa a few winters ago.

The whole episode began with doughnuts and great deli sandwiches and ended with sad defeat, booze (not me though) and a long, lonely drive back to Chicago. There was nothing but cold, flat Iowa in between.

Students volunteer for 100,000 hrs. New pledges already at 28,000 hrs!

2006-12-06T13:27:00.000-05:00

---Note to Readers of You Got Daved: This is an Experiment---
(Both for volunteering and for the possibility of getting on Digg's main page. I will keep these posts to a bare minimum if ever again, but I want to see how fast a genuinely good deed driven website can be virally promoted.

Please Digg This Story.

Got an idea of how to explode this? Let me know, posts a comment. Thanks!)

Volunteer to repair the world by pledging an hour or 20.
The world needs our help. Students have taken the lead in volunteering. Will you stand with them? Help us start a trend! Let us know what you're already doing, or pledge to volunteer some time.

read more | digg story

Optimized!

2006-12-05T18:00:00.000-05:00

You might have noticed that I have been updating my Blog.

I figured that I needed to follow the advice of all my web 2.0 reading and up the abilities of this bad boy.

My favorite source for quick 2.0 reading is Transmitt.

Can you find everything? Some of it is pure code (it's in the source but I wouldn't know it was there or what it meant otherwise.....but it sounds kinda cool).

I am using Feedburner for all of you wonderful subscribers.

I am self-promoting (shamelessly I might add) through:

Digg
Furl
Blinkit
Del.icio.us
LinkedIn
Yahoo
Facebook
Bravenet
Alexa
BlogTopSites
Technorati
MyBlogLog
and Google (of course!)

Web 2.0 Poster

2006-12-04T18:00:00.000-05:00

Amazing FooBar Poster
Originally uploaded by Orli Yakuel.

I've already printed this out and am looking for a frame for my desk.

"The Awakening"

2006-12-03T20:37:00.000-05:00

The Awakening

Today was random. We went on an unscripted trip to the tip of the Tidal Basin, right near where so many of the national monuments are. We went on search for the little known larger-than-life sculpture, "The Awakening".

"Travel Zoo Unleashed" had identified this DC secret and no one we knew had ever seen or heard of the beast.

8 wrong turns, 1 badly printed google map, 1 near death experience and 1 hour later we were there.

Directly across from the Landing strip of the National Airport, "The Awakening" is an awe inspiring scene. Children picking a nose, grown men climbing an elbow, and almost no tourists....a local resident's dream.

No one should miss this outing.

Follow Ohio Dr. past the FDR memorial, past the Jefferson Memorial into West Potomac Park until the road loops around. A great source for our trip was Roadside America.

Video to be posted to YouTube shortly.

Kosher Taco Stand in LA

2006-12-03T20:33:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago I went to the World's ONLY Kosher Taco Stand.

Hooked up to the back of some guy's pick-up truck is a mobile Mexican cuisine establishment serviced by two very authentic Mexicans. For next to nothing you can be satiated with chicken or beef and a drink. Pretty sweet jumbo/large style.

Frank Caliendo - Pee in Your Pants Funny!

2006-12-01T11:37:00.000-05:00

I've just rediscovered one of my all-time favorite comedians and wanted to share....Enjoy!

A Tribute to 1M - "Lecha" by Shekov

2006-12-01T08:06:00.000-05:00

This video really brings us back to the Heights. Good job!

YouTuber Noah773

2006-11-17T13:56:00.000-05:00

YouTuber Noah773

Noah plows through the trash of YouTube and finds the Gems.

http://noah773.blogspot.com/

Suitable for the Ten Days of Repentance

2006-09-29T09:58:00.000-04:00

Usually the stories that grace these pages follow a pattern of: start, sadness, odd occurrence, hysterical ending. Today's post will follow said path.

Author's note: During these days of Awe, it is customary to review instances during the past year where G-d's hand had a clear play in the events of the day.

-->Please feel free to welcome our newest fan AH.

With more and more wonderful mailings coming this way courtesy of our amazing fans, don't hesitate to send a taste of your locality this way. Email yougotdaved@gmail.com for an address.

A few weeks ago, this author landed at BWI airport, wife-in-tow, to go back home after a wonderful visit to a longtime friend (M&CL).

Flying Southwest at off-peak times and off-peak dates to save a few bucks - $160
Arriving too early at the airport, therefore requiring the purchase of essential magazines - $15
Remembering just in time to use a coupon to save $2 dollars at the parking lot - Priceless.

Pulling up to our apartment, we briefly decided to stop to get our mail at the front door before parking in our lot. Four minutes later, our car refused to start.

Click click click click click ZIP

Just as our insides were beginning to boil up and we started to search the car for our trusty AAA number, a white truck pulled up behind us.

AAA Battery Repair

It turned our, our county had but one AAA battery repair truck, and he happened to have been dropping of a nice old lady at our building JUST THEN. What could have been hour and hours of endless waiting, aggravation and possible sadness was averted with a 5 minute free battery replacement.

I'd like tot hank the Academy, the American (and Canadian) Automotive Association and the Almighty. Oh ya, and my wife, or course, for keeping me from getting all annoyed when the car wouldn’t start.

Have an easy fast and a meaningful Yom Kippur.

EUJS and YU Websites Attacked this Afternoon!

2006-08-08T15:20:00.000-04:00

Anti-Israel hackers disabled these two major websites and redirected traffic to their own locations.

EUJS was replaced with the following message: "!!! Own3d by Team-Evil Arab Hackerz!!!, Israel Go to Hell" and an image depicting an Israeli flag being burned. This was also accompanied by a song "Allah Ouhakbar". Due to this attack, our server is down and we are unable to broadcast these images to you.

YU.edu was replaced with this (url contains profanity but actual site is clean)

Please be on the lookout for more web attacks and be vigilant in their protection

In DC...Reportine LIVE from now on (really just more often that before)

2006-05-12T14:22:00.000-04:00

Welcome back ladies and gents.
Saying "it's been a while" would be an understatement. Since we last spoke, this author has gotten married, moved down to Maryland and has changed careers. Whoa! I know....I know.
To see a visual update from the wedding, watch the video

Fun note:
I got te chance to meet with Senator Barak Obama at a lunch yesterday. He was a great speaker and very curtious.

Check back soon for the latest links and happenings.

Dead Air

2005-12-13T15:17:00.001-05:00

For three years, Dead Air radio has been a permanent fix on my listening plate. Broadcast live onlive every Tuesday night from 12-1 am on WYUR.org.

Zee and his crew have finally branched out into the mainstream, leaving their college days behind them.

You can subscribe to their weekly podcast which can be previewed by joining the mailing list.

Since going online December 1, 2005, they have had oer 4000 page hits, and 1500 subscribers to the podcast. Pretty good for zero advertising. Word of mouth through Facebook, comments on Digg and other guerilla social networking sites have propelled this team quickly. Don't let this hilarous show run away.

Interested in hosting the Facebook group at your school? Send Dead Air an email and they will hook you up! (contact@deadair.tv)

The Wandering Jew

2005-11-10T16:48:00.000-05:00

Join me, your friends, your buddies, your aquaintances and all others in this innovative project:

The Wandering Jew

Add yourself to this map system allowing us to see just how far we have spread.

http://www.frappr.com/thewanderingjew

2005-10-31T14:34:00.000-05:00

After a hiatus far too long, this author has decided to return to his humorous wastetime….story telling. These next few entries will personify the undeniable essence that is "Getting Daved". A number of new co-authors have been enlisted to chronicle the life of Dave, as well as to fill in the voids of this esteemed blog with as of yet unheard of Davings.

Please stay tuned, keep pointing to our site, and never stop dreaming, smiling, and telling your friends about us.

Many Thanks...... The DAVE

Numa Numa Dave

2005-03-23T12:04:00.000-05:00

Long Absence. No explanations. Sorry.

Now, on to the Daving.

Ever since Gary, the Numa Numa guy from NJ went online, Dave had been sweetly pestered by his admiring fans as to the authenticity of "Gary".

"Dave, you are the Numa Numa guy....come on!"

Nothing Dave could say or do would sway the hordes, and as of last night it has become official:

Dave is funny, and can dance (but only slightly), but he is nothing but an impersonator.

Check out the Purim edition of the YU Commentator online or at your local bin.

WYUR Merchandise

2005-03-07T02:15:00.000-05:00

In order to help the University's wonderful radio station, WYUR, a whole lot of stuff is now on sale bearing a new logo, with more to come.

www.cafepress.com/wyur

Also, don't forget to tune in Sunday through Thursday 7pm-1am for exciting live programming.
The rest of the time, great music is always being played.

www.wyur.org

The Early Bird Gets Daved

2005-03-07T01:46:00.000-05:00

Every week, Dave has to write a paper for a class, Contemporary Problems in Business. Three pages about the speaker can be cut and paste, which is sweet, accompanied by a few questions to sprinkle after the lecture. Dave finished his paper early Thursday afternoon, which, it should be noted is quite an accomplishment.

Dave went to bed early for once on a Thursday night, in order to awake early for the 8am shuttle to midtown. Dave likes to be early anywhere he goes. Being early can usually give enough time to iron out any mishaps that might occur at any time.

945am, Friday morning, a classmate asks to see Dave's questions to get some ideas.

"That's not the speaker, she is speaking next week! Quick, change everything!"

With only fifteen minutes left until the lecture Dave rewrote his paper, and now has one for this week. Unfortunately, Dave suffered a lot of well deserved embarrassment in doing the wrong paper.

_____________________

Ok...so Dave didn't really Get Daved so much here, but this story was on this author's mind. Help the site grow by submitting your own stories: yougotdaved@gmail.com

In Direct Relation

2005-03-03T23:45:00.000-05:00

Nothing funny entered this author's email or came before his desk before the day's end...and so we are pleased to bring you a skewed look into Dave's way of thinking. Enjoy!

I am Peeing which is in direct relation to how much I had to drink.

I had far too much to drink today which is in direct relation to how much I ate.

I ate three "meals" today, all of which were eaten after it was dark out, which is in direct relation to my Thursday schedule.

My Thursday schedule includes putting on my pants and watching TV, which is in direct relation to the fact that I had nothing to do today.

I had nothing to do today, besides putting on my pants and watching TV, which is in direct relation to my filed efforts at finding an internship two days a week.

I failed in finding an internship which is in direct relation to the fact that every opportunity was unpaid.

Every opportunity which I interviewed for was unpaid, even though I really need hard currency, which is in direct relation to Hashem finding new ways to test me.

Hashem likes to test me (or poke fun in my general direction) which is in direct relation to my

"Getting Daved"

Things Funny Enough to Make You Pee a Little II

2005-03-01T00:05:00.000-05:00

Straight from the Spam Vault, we bring you Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn", performed by David Armand, mime specialist extraordinaire.

"You Got Daved" is Filmed in Front of a Live Studio Audience

2005-02-28T00:36:00.000-05:00

Dave attends a class twice a week that is forging a new future into the high-tech arena, well, when it works that is probably a true statement. National Sovereignty and Human Rights takes place in Furst 201 and 245 Lexington (in a certain undisclosed room) simultaneously. One day a week the prof lectures from Midtown and one day from Uptown. All the while both men and women are on camera and multiple screens trying not to snicker, snooze or scratch too much. The average class has turned into a gameshow, each group trying to answer first, trying to impress the prof and seem the smarter sex. This author is quite sure that things will settle down with time, students, Beren and Wilf alike, will learn to listen to each other, will not giggle or make quite remarks unheard across town.

However "You Got Daved" is not a place for social commentary, well, perhaps it is, but the comic effort must come first. Aha! The story finally approaches:

Not two weeks ago the political science students sat quietly listening intently to the prof who was lecturing from Beren campus that day. The sitting was getting uncomfortable.

Allow this author a moment to explain the room. Perhaps half a million dollars had been invested in the technology to allow for this class to happen, but not a penny had been spent on the room's furnishings. Students sat in the same metal folding chairs that the Rav's students had sat in two scores previously (forty years).

Not unlike every other class we had sat through, people had begun to mill around outside the door looking in on this new classroom "ooohing" and "aaahing".

"Dave, can you please shut the door?" the prof asked.

Dave, or course, immediately got up, walked over to the door and closed it, turned around and walked back to his chair.

CRASH

Dave's chair broke into two distinct pieces as he sat down on it. Dave lay flat on his tush for almost a minute while the rest of the room erupted in the kind of laughter which always evokes tears. While Dave's tush hurt from impact, it was his side that was throbbing from the laughter that ensued. Class re-established order within a few minutes, but the chair was never the same again. Such a break has actually never happened before to Dave in college. Obviously, the time had to be right; in this situation Dave had been recorded in front of a live studio audience.

A week later, at a lecture in midtown for the class, the prof approached Dave and asked that Dave test the chair he was planning on sitting on for the night.

"This is a nice room and we have some very important people here tonight, please be careful not to break anything."

Numa Numa Update

2005-02-27T13:44:00.000-05:00

It's hard not follow the craze that is Gary Brolsma. He has become an international superstar in a matter of weeks. This past Tuesday his amateur video hit one million hits. The next morning he was broadcast on MSNBC. Dave's prediction that his hits would double to 2 million by Friday was accurate at which point Gary announced that he regrets ever making the video. Garry was featured in a story on the front page of the New York Times on shabbos, which is truly an amazing feat. In the meantime, hundreds of copycats across the internet have created their own versions.

This news update keeps those who traverse You Got Daved spitting with laughter and constantly asking for more. We, here at the blog, like to oblige to this craziness...

Anime

Too Much Time on Their Hands

Ozone (Original Romanian Band) vs. Gary

Although we are amused by the Numa Numa phenomenon, we sincerely hope that this craze will end and our regularly scheduled news will reappear tomorrow morning.

Pre-Shabbos Vignette

2005-02-25T12:22:00.000-05:00

Good afternoon or good morning for those lucky few!

Funny thing happened on the way to the coliseum (read: bank) this morning.
This author waited patiently in line at the ATM for over ten minutes to withdraw currency. All the while the ATM repairman was closing down the machines one by one from inside. At first, two machines were ample enough to distribute cash to those who stood before Dave. The man directly in front of Dave inserted his card into the ATM just as the second machine closed down after the previous customer withdrew. As luck would have it, as Dave took a step forward, the last machine closed down as well. Exasperated, Dave looked at the multitudes behind him and offered to get help from within the bank.

Dave entered the bank, asked the teller for help and turned around to point at the problem. In doing so, he noticed that another machine had opened in his absence; all who had been behind him were now in front.
Ten more minutes of waiting came to end with a successful withdrawal. The extra ten minutes cost Dave a few hours, he missed the Uptown shuttle, which is why he is able to type this blog now. Dave is sitting in the Stern Building trying to pass time.

Brrriinng...Brrriinngg!!! Ah, Dave finds a friend to go to lunch with.

Good Shabbos.

Have your "Getting Daved" memory posted

2005-02-25T01:40:00.000-05:00

For those of you still wishing to have your very own "Getting Daved" story published as a post rather than a comment feel free to email Dave. All submissions will be thoroughly checked (read: lightly scanned) and posted quickly for all to enjoy.

yougotdaved@gmail.com

Dean Braun is a Great Cook

2005-02-25T01:19:00.000-05:00

-Submitted, with Love, by Zechariah Mehler.

Early last year, Brad Karasic the Assistant Dean of Students invited Dave and I to his house for Shabbat. We went to Brad’s house, played with his kids and ran some pre-Shabbat errands and then went to our room to get ready. I had finished putting on my suit when I heard the following noise.

"Awwwwwwwwww, not again!"

I recognized this sound as the noise as the sound of part of Dave's spirit dying, which meant that he was getting Daved once more. I turned to find Dave sitting on his bed wearing his suit pants that had 6-inch hole starting at the bottom of the zipper and moving its way back. Since Shabbat was in 10 minutes there was nothing much Dave could do about it. Dave would just have to deal with a giant gaping hole in his suit.

Now I know this is already a pretty good "You Got Daved" story, but in the immortal words of Freddy Goldman, "It gets better".

When we got up stairs, Brad informed us that we would be eating lunch the next day at Zelda Braun’s home. Zelda, or as she is more commonly referred to as, Dean Braun, is the Stern College for Women Dean of Students. Those of you that know Dave are aware of how active he is at YU (which for pc sake, we are talking about both YC and Stern). He arranges concerts, trips, events of all kinds and here we were with the people he needs to work with all the time and Dave needs to keep his legs together and attract as little attention to himself for hours on end.

In the end it turned out ok as no one noticed the gaping hole (thank god). As a side note, it happened to have been a particularly cold weekend and I can't imagine that it was pleasant to walk to shul and around Kew Garden Hills with that giant air vent in his pants.

[Editor's Note: The title of this Blog, "Dean Braun is a Great Cook" is such because although our host for lunch might seem to play an insignificant role in this story, even to this day this author can remember the fantastic shabbos meal, great conversation, and general hospitableness that were felt at the Dean's home.]

Numa Numa.....Yay!

2005-02-24T01:27:00.000-05:00

Last night this author was about to post this very post when he was sent a link from MSNBC. Apparently, yesterday morning, Matt Lauer reported on the "Numa Numa" song kid from New Jersey. Dave missed out on being the first to post this remarkable story by only hours. However, and luckily for you, my special readers, a round-the-web-history view of this video phenomenon shall join the ranks of "You Got Daved". Tomorrow, we will return to our regular scheduled Daving. Enjoy!

Original Numa Numa Song

Click on "Watch This Movie",
then after it loads, press "Play",
then choose "Play Without Subtitles".

Whole Class of Kids Numa Numa-ing

Numa Numa Gary on MSNBC

Original Music Video

Hebrew Version of the Real Song (27mb)

The Infamous Head Injury Story

2005-02-23T01:07:00.000-05:00

-Submitted, with Love, by Josh Shpayher

Once upon a time in a land far away (my old dorm room) Dave came a-knockin at around midnight. While I do not remember the reason for his visit, I do remember I was folding my laundry. If you have ever been to a Morg dorm room, you would know that the drawers are kind of pointy (to say the least). Well, I was folding socks and shooting them across the room into the middle drawer which I had left open.

That's when Dave walked in.

After talking to Benji Nadler and me for about 2 minutes, Dave realized his shoelace was untied. This is when I turned away. I looked at Benji to say something when I heard a distinct “THUNK”, the kind of the thunk you hear when someone “Gets Daved”. Benji and I spun around only to see Dave staggering about the room, with both hands over his left eye covering most of his face. I asked what happened, but he did not respond, I
only heard him moaning in complete agony. Benji and I still did not know what was going on.

Then I saw it: Blood.

Red drops were slowly trickling trough Dave’s fingers and down his face onto the floor. It was then I realized that Dave had bent over quickly to tie his shoelace, slammed his face into the open drawer hitting the sharp corner. Lucky for Dave he only hit his eyebrow and did not actually hit his eye. Dave did not know that. The pain was so intense, and the blood had temporarily blinded him so that he could not tell me whether or not he had been hit in the eye. All he knew was that it was painful and he was bleeding. He wouldn’t remove his hands from his face, so I ran to get two Haztolah members who lived on our floor. They took good care of him, and after 15 minutes, Dave was all smiles and gauze. Once Dave found out he hadn’t blinded himself, he was cracking jokes and we were taking pictures. He went to the hospital, got a few stitches and was good as new by morning

[Editors Note: For those of you who know a little bit more, please don’t comment or add details, I’d like to keep this story as clean as possible. Thanks.]

The Sovereign State of Pants attacked by Rogue Nation of Orange Juice

2005-02-22T16:34:00.000-05:00

-Submitted, with Love, By Simcha Feldman

I am so glad Dave has created a great forum in which this story can be told, since it happened so recently. It all began one morning at the annual Yeshiva University National Model United Nations conference (YUNMUN), which began on Super Bowl Sunday. As a result of the scheduling, the sessions ended early and we, the staff/college students, stayed up late doing what college students do best…procrastinate sleep for no good reason. The next morning, no one was in any mood or physical shape to act like professional, but act we had to. Our noble Dave walked into breakfast looking pooped and with his mind elsewhere.

I arrived into the Breakfast hall that fateful morning with my plate full of Danishes (mmmmmmmm…..Danish) and a cup of hot chocolate. As I sat down, I took my cell phone out of my pocket, since it was bothering me, and placed it on the table. I continued to enjoy my breakfast and talk with the guys around the table about the ridiculously long day ahead of us. Finally, when Dave strolled in to eat his breakfast, he sat down at the table right next to mine, carrying a muffin and a cup of orange juice. At this point, my table began to clear and I made my way over to keep Dave some company. In my right hand was my last remaining Danish and in my left was my hot chocolate.

As Dave continued on with his breakfast, he got thirsty and began to open his little sealed plastic cup of Orange Juice. As a note, the orange juice came in a little plastic container with a tightly sealed aluminum foil on top, much like the cups of water one gets with a kosher meal on an airplane. As he opened the orange juice, Dave was not really paying any attention and foil ripped quickly with his hand causing some of the orange juice to squirt out of its container and attack its attempted drinker. Dudie Silberman, who was also sitting at the table, and I began to laugh at this funny moment until Dave looked down and with a look of dismay, and groaned at the current situation. The orange juice had hit his tie, but that was only the beginning. Some of the orange juice had landed all over his pants while painfully embarrassing accuracy. Normally, this wouldn’t much matter, but Dave was wearing his lightly colored suit and this stain was both very incriminating and embarrassing for poor old Dave. As Dudie and I continued to laugh at now this very funny moment, we began to contemplate what we could do to try and allow Dave to save some face. Our best idea was to have Dave button his jacket and we would quickly walk him back to his room where he could put some water on his pants and then blow dry them and thus remove any evidence of this story.

We got up from our table and we were about to walk out when I realized my phone was not in my pocket. I looked down at the table and began to panic. I looked over at my original table and still no cell phone. I looked everywhere I could imagine it could have been in the dinning room and I couldn’t find it.

Later that day, the YUNMUN paper was passed around with a fond recap of that morning’s events, written by non other than Dave himself. Titled, “The Sovereign State of Pants attacked by Rogue Nation of Orange Juice” students were notified that at 7:45 a.m. in a violent and unprovoked incident, Orange Juice attacked Dave’s pants with “deadly” results.

My phone was never recovered, but I’m told that since Dave turned out OK, as the chaos theory might state, something bad had to happen to somebody at that table that morning, I’m just glad it was nothing worse.

Still Too Lazy...

2005-02-22T01:17:00.000-05:00

While it might seem that Dave is slightly lazy, the hard cold truth is that Dave is extremely lazy, almost to the point of malfunction Thus the quest to find alternate writers for this blog is in full swing, with several more promising entries on their way. Stay tuned, keep checking in on a daily basis, and keep that smile on your face perpetually.

One funny link for the night is this of an Elephant who, clearly, has far more hand eye coordination than Dave.

Sporty Little Tusker

Randomness Can Be Very Soothing

2005-02-21T01:54:00.000-05:00

The three hours it took Dave to get from Monsey to Manhattan tonight has left our fair author in a tired/lazy mood and therefore "You Got Daved" brings you a new segment which hopefully, if found to be immensely popular, will make a return engagement every so often:

"Random Stuff"

or

"Things Funny Enough to Make You Pee a Little"

1. Dave's Roomate found this incredible video online tonight. This guy got Daved, and bad.

Download "Scott Goes Skydiving"

2. COMPANY CREATES "EXTREME" JOBS

In a bid to boost employee morale and cultivate a hipper image, stodgy investment banking firm Hamilton Hardway last week added the word "extreme" to every job title. "I kind of like it," commented Extreme Vice President in Charge of Finance Jake Robertson. "It makes me feel cool." This sentiment was echoed by Extreme Portfolio Investment Counselor Angela Dupree. "I love it! I really identify with it. It really sums up what I do." Not everyone at the company was thrilled, however. Extreme Janitorial Emergencies Supervisor Raymond Blacklock commented, "In janitorial emergencies, extreme is never good."

Great Quote

2005-02-18T01:07:00.001-05:00

I can't believe you started such a website, I was cracking up. It's like group therapy on a website.

-Aliza A.

Is it Getting Daved or Just Plain Funny?

2005-02-18T00:36:00.000-05:00

When Dave was a young sophomore, he was the practically the image of an Athenian athlete, all rippled and burley and in shape 'n stuff. Well.....he must have been, right? Two straight months of tryouts, two nights a week, two hours a night, and hundreds of liters of water all built up to Dave making the cut for YU's most esteemed team: Volleyball. Running, jumping, diving, sliding, and complaining are all vital skills that need to be honed to make the YU volleyball team and Dave had become more than your average grasshopper in this respect.

With over $1.9 Billion in their endowment, Yeshiva University chose to outfit its Volleyball team with most highly technological clothing they could afford. Ah, perhaps you can’t imagine, allow for a second this image:

Ten college aged kids in blue short shorts and skin tight white soccer jerseys; at least they all had the infamous YU shield. Dave and his illustrious teammates were all informed that these fashionable were only meant for practice, and that each member would get his very own "Volleyball" jersey by game day.

The night before the big game finally arrived and this night was no different than any other. Practice. Just before we started dripping sweat all over the gym floor, Stan the Man (distributor of YU Athletics gear and Mussar Rebbe) brought out our PHAT gear. Dave tried on his new sweatshirt, sweatpants, played with his bag and tied up the laces on his hi-tops.

With only ten minutes left to practice a general scrimmage started, with Dave playing setter. One over, then back, then up for the block.....crash!!!

Dave went up for the block and down, hard, turning in his ankle just before his teammate landed on top of it.

SNAP

Dave never played one minute of NCAA Volleyball, but was on the roster for one season thus making him and NCAA Athlete! Dave got the free stuff, the one semester of credit, and plenty of rest. On the flip side, Dave was in bed for two straight weeks, on crutches with a cast for two months, and finally a cane for three months.

Dave still maintains that it will always be an honor that he was once an NCAA Athlete.

2005-02-16T15:51:00.000-05:00

Submitted, with love, by Marc Lerman. );

I’d like to share my own experience of being around Dave for a good “Daving.” Is Daving a word? Well, it is now. Regardless, I must press on.

(Note – some details have been changed to protect Dave and b/c I don’t remember them all)

As we all know, Dave has a knack for not having much cash with him. It always happens that he can get by, but Dave is not one to go out to dinner just for the sake. Dave is careful with his money, and although his parents make it seem so, Dave is not an excessive spender. Occasionally, Dave goes to T-town for some family loving, as well as some money to help him get by.

After one return from T-town, Dave had with him several dollars, let’s say $200, which was to last him for a few months. To most of us, it doesn’t seem like much, but Dave doesn’t head home often, and as a Canadian living in a non-Canadian country, $200 is sufficient means to get by. Now, on the first day with his newfound wealth, Dave treks into Midtown Manhattan to wander about. While in Barnes and Noble, a well-dressed man approaches the young lad. This man is not dressed like a bum by any means, but nevertheless, once he spots Dave’s tsitzit hanging out, he approaches. This man proceeds to tell Dave he is trying to make a train to Cherry Hill, New Jersey, where he is housesitting for his brother. The man says he has lost his wallet in a cab and is unable to pay for the train, the cab ride to the train station, or anything else in between. The man goes on to tell Dave about how he is only in the East Coast for a few days from San Francisco. Dave is apprehensive about giving this man money. After all, would he ever see the money again? It’s all he has to last for some time, and this man could just be conning him. The man promises to send Dave the money just as soon as he gets home to San Francisco where he works for a major clothier, tossing in the words "Gap" and "Banana" for effect. After being convinced, that he would not be “Daved,” Dave hands over nearly half of his wealth to this man. Dave leaves his phone number, so this man could contact him for a way to send Dave his money. Dave then returns to YU, where he comes to the room of his friend Marc (me). Dave asks if I could find a picture of the head honchos of GAP, which I do, and none turn out to not be this man. Still hopefull, Dave awaits the call for weeks. Finally, after a few weeks, Dave doubles over in agony, as he realizes that he has just been Daved out of all the money that was to last him for several months.

FOLLOW UP – several years later, Dave is again walking the streets of Midtown Manhattan, when he spots someone familiar to him. To Dave’s shock and dismay, it is the same man who screwed him all that time before! Dave calls Marc and mentions this to him, where Marc advises that Dave should go up to this man and kick the living hell out of him. Dave does not. Dave is too nice. Poor Dave.

Send in the Clowns

2005-02-16T13:01:00.000-05:00

For those of you wishing to have your very own "Getting Daved" story published as a post rather than a comment feel free to email Dave. All submissions will be thoroughly checked (read: lightly scanned) and posted quickly for all to enjoy.

yougotdaved@gmail.com

To Get Daved or Not To Get Daved?

2005-02-15T02:33:00.000-05:00

What is it to "Get Daved"? How can we all be a part of this community of believers? How can I sleep with all this noise? Why am I still hungry? These are all important questions, but the only one which will be addresses (right now) on this blog is that of reference to the legitimacy of "Getting Daved".

Getting Daved is being in receivership of a special kind of irony. Whether you have had some "bad luck", been done over by a corporation, truly wadded in the red tape of bureaucracy, or just plain had a special kind of bad day, you could be in the "Got Daved" category.

The term "Getting Daved" refers, in general, to instances when the author has gotten into remarkable situations in which only he could have gotten into. It seems, as if by the sheer will of the creator, that an example should be set of this young, courageous lad in order to show G-d's providence on this great earth.

Welcome All Ye faithful

2005-02-15T01:15:00.000-05:00

You Got Daved.

A comment bestowed upon the lucky few to be sure. Once you realize that you are in the hands of a master plan you can find the laughter or you can find the tears (insert alcohol here for effect). Out of many late nights and far too much discussion this diary of events has finally found a home. What was once just spots of luck has become an international phenomenon. People the world over are finding out what it means to "get daved".

These stories won’t necessarily be in chronological order, nor will they be posted as they happen. Old tales will be written as they are remembered, and new ones will appear as they will inevitable happen.

Others are greatly encouraged to post their favorite Davism. Whether or not the tale actually includes the infamous "Dave" is of but miniscule importance.

What should be stressed is humor, good taste, and above all the ability to rise above the bad taste and find the good in every corner.

Bad luck is only a state of mind.

- The Establishment

YouGotDaved@gmail.com